Voice
by TenyumeKasumi
Summary: "Do you love me?" Three times does Mukuro ask this. Three different answers does Chrome give him.


"Nagi."

A violet-haired girl with an equally violet eye - the other was covered with an eyepatch - looked up from the flower chain she was making into another pair of very peculiar eyes, one red and the other blue.

"Yes, Mukuro-sama?"

The older boy smiled, navy hair styled into a pineapple tuft blowing gently in the breeze. The perfect green meadow littered with clumps of white wild flowers stretched out before them in endless horizons. A perfect sky displayed a beautifully soft blue, unbroken save for a few wispy white clouds like down feathers scattered upon silk. The perfect, round sun glowed right above and cast its bright, warming rays in all directions. It watched over the one called Nagi and the one called Mukuro; the only two people who existed in this perfect, illusory world.

"Do you love me?"

The girl - Nagi - cast her gaze back down as she fiddled with the hem of her pure white summer dress. A light blush spread across her fair cheeks as she fidgeted.

"I- I have great admiration for Mukuro-sama."

Mukuro raised one elegant brow, smile turning into a lopsided smirk as if he was amused at her reply.

"Oh? Do you really, Nagi?"

A timid nod. "Yes."

"Why?"

"...Mukuro-sama is my savior. Yet, Mukuro-sama is me and I am Mukuro-sama. Mukuro-sama cannot exist without me and I cannot live without Mukuro-sama. We are one and the same person."

A pregnant silence followed after Nagi's declaration. The whispering breeze was dying out and there was not a sound to be heard. The incomplete flower chain lay on the ground, forgotten.

Mukuro closed his eyes, laughing softly to himself. "Oya oya, Nagi gives such interesting answers. Don't you, Nagi?"

* * *

_If, for example, you lived at the bottom of the sea_

_I'd cut my feet off and become a fish._

_If, for example, these words reach you,_

_You can rip out my vocal cords and throw them away._

* * *

Chrome Dokuro sat herself on the ruined and tattered couch. Bits of stuffing were leaking from the seams and numerous incisions in the aged fabric. Trash and debris was scattered all over the floor of the rundown building of Kokuyo Land, where sheets of rain fell from the sky like torrential bullets. Chrome was alone for now - Ken and Chikusa had went out an hour ago and were probably waiting somewhere for the rain to let up before coming back.

The Vongola Mist Guardian hugged her knees to her chest for warmth as she gazed out of one of the many broken windows at the rain as it thundered from the sky down to the earth. The wind and water turned the air chilly. The hard ground turned into soft mud and great puddles of water seemed to jump and dance as more water from the heavens thundered upon its' surfaces.

… _Nagi…_

The girl started at her name being called and reflexively looked about the room – but there was nobody around. It took her a moment to remember that this voice did not belong to the material world, but the one in her mind. She closed her eyes and allowed her world to be enveloped in darkness so she could concentrate on listening to his sweet, hypnotic voice.

_My dear Nagi… Are you well?_

"_Mukuro-sama! Is there anything you need of me?"_

He chuckled in the way that only he could chuckle.

_No, I merely wanted to hear the voice of my cute Chrome. Feeling cold?_

She felt her cheeks grow a little warmer. _"M-mm. I'm fine, Mukuro-sama." _She knew that no matter how cold she was, it could never compare to the cold of the Vendicare underwater prison where her mentor and saviour was held - trapped.

As if he had read her mind, he chuckled. _My sweet Nagi… you need not worry about me._

It was a cold, dark place where his every movement was restricted. A place where neither light nor sound could reach him. And the only one who could hear his velvety voice – his true voice – was her, a mere scrawny girl with only one eye and the cold metal of the Vongola Mist ring heavy on her finger – a ring that should be his. But then again, anything that was his was also hers. Anything that was hers was also his. They were not two separate people but one entity in two bodies. The ring was neither hers nor his – it was theirs.

_Have Ken and Chikusa been treating you well?_

"_M-hm. They have been very kind to me."_

_Oh? I wouldn't call Ken kicking you off the couch the other the day as being 'kind'._

"_Um well, the way everyone shows kindness is different."_

_Yes, that is also true. Very wise, Nagi._

A comfortable silence fell between them as the conversation lulled. Chrome still had her eyes closed to the outside world but the darkness behind her eyelids was neither absolute nor condemning. She no longer felt the chill of the rain-soaked air. Her ears were no longer deafened by the sounds of the tempest outside. She basked instead in the warm, comforting presence of Mukuro in her consciousness. With him here, she felt an absolute sense of security and completeness. Things she could not gain anywhere else no matter how hard she tried. While she found a sense of belonging with Tsuna and the Famiglia, friendship in the cheerful smiles and excited chatter of Kyoko, Haru and Bianchi and camaraderie in the hidden concern behind Ken's crudeness and Chikusa's distance, only Mukuro could give her these feelings. Just the sound of his voice was enough to make her soul sing.

Later – was a minute? An hour? An eternity? She was not sure – Mukuro finally broke the silence.

_Now I must leave, Nagi. My mind needs rest. But before I do, could I ask you something?_

She felt a pang that he had to leave so soon. Any amount of time spent with him felt like it was never enough. She could follow him to the end of days and the end of time and when everything was over, still say that that time was not enough.

"_You can ask me anything, Mukuro-sama."_

There was a short pause, and she got the feeling that he was looking at her assessingly.

_Do you love me, Nagi?_

The question gave her pause, her breath hitched and stopped. It was the second time he asked her this question. Did he expect a different answer? She knew her feelings for him had changed since their first meeting – what had once been idolisation and gratitude had turned into fondness and outright adoration. If she could worship him, she would. This god who came into her life and rescued her from the murky, clouded waters that were slowly suffocating her. He gave her a new life, a new identity and another chance. He was everything to her – he was her whole world. If it were not for him, she would be nothing.

It was obvious he expected a different answer, but dare she give him the truth? But there was the possibility he already knew anyway – he always knew everything.

"_I could not live without Mukuro-sama. You are everything to me. When Mukuro-sama is with me, nothing else matters."_

She hesitated a moment more before ploughing on, "_I love Mukuro-sama. I'd do anything for you, anything."_

She caught self, hardly believing the words that had come out of her dream-voice. They were true, every one of them.

He was silent for a moment before she heard him sigh, as with resignation. The warmth of his non-existent smile filled her again. But it was different this time, she sensed form him a tinge of nostalgia.

_I thank you, Chrome. I believe without you, I would be lost as well._

His voice then faded away into nothing and vanished altogether.

All too suddenly, reality returned with a vengeance. The rain hammered down from the sky, drops leaking through the old ceiling and forming puddles on the cement floor. Thunder rattled the unbroken windows and the wind howled its fury as it whooshed its way through the derelict structures of Kokuyo Land.

* * *

_I was longing, longing_

_To have lost my stinging wounds_

_And for your warmth to take everything away_

_Even if it was just a dream_

* * *

Chrome cried silently, tears spilling over her pale cheeks and losing themselves in her soft pillow.

Mukuro had cast her aside, like a child would throw away a broken doll. Once they had returned to Kokuyo, she found herself alone at their hideout with nothing more than a set of female Namimori Middle school uniform and a short, blunt note telling her to get out. The message could not have been clearer.

She had arrived at Namimori, feeling more lost than a stray kitten. She could not fully recall how she got there and where her feet carried her. Only that she remembered breaking down at the sight of her Boss and Kyoko, desperately needing the comfort of the only family she had left.

Chrome curled in tighter into herself, clutching her arms as she shivered under the blankets. Trying to hold herself together. Because she feel her soul breaking, her heart shattering and her body crumbling into nothing. It was a wretched, damning feeling; having your world obliterated before your eyes and the ground swept from under feet. To realise that there was nothing around you as you begin to fall – down, down, down to who knows where. Careening out of control and wildly grasping at anything to stop yourself from falling. But the anchor that was once there is gone, and there is nothing in the grim darkness to hold on to. So Chrome continues to plummet down into the abyss.

He had left her behind. He didn't need her anymore.

But of course. Mukuro was free now. And strong. With his physical body freed, his full power returned and the Vongola Mist Ring in his possession, why would he need a weak, crippled girl like her? She did not begrudge him that. She did not regret at all that he was free. No, she was happy for him. She still remembered that way her heart had sung with joy when Mukuro had first spoken to her, in his real voice, in his real body, with his head on her knees. He was free now, she thought. He didn't have to suffer in Vendicare Prison anymore.

The problem was, she still needed him.

But the void in her mind was just that, a void. There was nothing there. His voice – the voice she so desperately wanted, needed, to hear. The voice that had kept her holding on through good times and bad. The voice that in her memory sounded like honey to her ears. The voice that she loved so much – gone. As if it were never there. She searched, she always searched; probing, feeling, trying to reach. But the tendrils of recollection slipped from her fingers like satin ribbons and left her hands empty and her ears ringing with silence.

And so Chrome cried.

* * *

_The pieces of my memories are rotting away_

_I don't have enough piercings to cover myself_

_I'm forgetting you, you're fading_

_Your voice fades into the rabble_

* * *

Although the Mist Ring was held by Mukuro, Tsuna had still adamantly insisted that she remain as one of his Guardians. The former Guardians had not been happy, constantly highlighting the fact that Mukuro was his official Mist Guardian and held the only Mist Ring. Backing from the Ninth however and shouted curses by Gokudera for not relenting to the Tenth Vongola made any opposition soon melt away and the arrangements were made. Ever mindful of the situation between his two Mist Guardians, Tsuna had always taken care not to send them on the same missions nor have them attend the same formal functions simultaneously. This had continued without a hitch for ten years.

That was about to change.

Chrome chewed her bottom lip, slim hands worrying the hem of her dress suit. Her hair was longer now, flowing and reaching the backs of her shoulders. The skull eye patch she had been so fond of as a teenager had been traded for a simple black one. She fiddled with her clothing some more, even as Tsuna, now ten years older and the official head of the Vongola Famiglia, smiled reassuringly at her from the other side of his writing desk.

"Relax, Chrome, everything is going to be all right."

The young woman swallowed nervously, forcing her hands to abandon the abused Armani jacket and clasped them on her lap to keep them still. "I-I'm trying to, Boss. But it's… it's…"

She was interrupted by a pair of warm arms around her. She looked up at Tsuna questioningly as he smiled down at her with that smile, the same smile that made everyone who saw it follow him into hell and back.

"I know it's very sudden and it's been a long time since you've seen each other, but he suddenly requested to see you. And I thought that it was time." Then he looked down at her – he was plenty taller than her now. "But of course, if you don't want to, I understand. I can- "

She shook her head, gathering her face into as much of a smile as she could, "No Boss, that's fine. You're right, it's gone on for too long."

A knock sounded on Tsuna's office door and she jumped. Her heartbeat quickened, already knowing who it was. Tsuna unwrapped his arms around her, wordlessly walking to the door and pulling it open as Chrome got to her feet on shaking knees.

In the doorway, wearing a smirk that had never changed since the day she first met him in her – their – dreamworld, was Rokudo Mukuro.

Tsuna gave him a grim smile, before passing by him to go out as Mukuro entered the room. "Good luck." He said over his shoulder as the door shut behind him. Whether that was addressed to Chrome or Mukuro or both of them – even he didn't know.

Both of Vongola's Mist Guardians were now in the same room. At the same time. Alone. After a decade of separation.

The silence was a long and pregnant one, with both parties assessing the other. How much of the other had changed in the last ten years, how much was still the same. His hair was long – so much longer than hers. He held it up in a ponytail. His clothes were more refined now, no longer the uniform of some derelict school. His eyes looked older, more cunning – if that was possible. Chrome was tense, though she tried her best not to show it. Mukuro's posture remained relaxed and carefree, as it always was. But the lack of a smirk, whether it was mocking or genuine or amused, spoke volumes. Finally, he was the first to break the ten-year silence between them.

"I am glad to see that you are well, my dear Chrome."

His voice was like heaven to her ears, a balm to dry, cracked skin. She privately relished in the sound of it. But she noticed. He still called her that. After all this time. Very well then. She swallowed past the lump in her throat.

"And I, you, Mukuro-sama."

Silence again.

She was not sure how long they stood standing there, just staring at each other. Then he moved. One step forward in a booted shoe. Then a second. And a third. They were now so close, that if she reached out with an arm, she could touch his chest with her fingertips. Still, the distance felt like miles rather than inches.

She met his mismatched eyes with her lone, lavender one and she knew that he was not going to beat around the bush. She knew what he would say.

"I have asked – no, requested that you meet me here today for only one reason, Chrome."

She maintained the eye contact, feeling his eyes bore into her soul, searching for something. Something in her eye. Hungrily, almost desperately. As if he were a drowning man with one last chance of catching hold of the lifeline.

"I ask you this, and I ask that you tell me the truth…" something changed in his eyes at that moment, something that no one else had ever seen. "Do you love me?"

There was that question again. Except this time, she knew her answer. Really knew her answer.

"When I first met you, Mukuro-sama, you saved me from a life I never wanted to live. You even saved me from death. I owed you my life and you became my saviour in my eyes. I admired you, I thought I was falling in love with you."

The words flowed like a broken dam, unhindered and unaided. They came easier than she thought they would. She had worried endlessly before whether she would be able to start and if she did, whether she could say the words properly. Now, she thought, she ought to be more worried and whether she could stop.

"Then you began training me in the art of illusions. You melded your mind with mine. We became one person, one entity. You were kind to me and the bond between us grew stronger. You sent Ken and Chikusa to me. They had a different way to show their kindness than you did, but they became a family to me, a family I had lost – or maybe my first family, maybe I never had one before that in the first place. You visited me in my dreams just to talk to me, even though it would tire you so much. For the first time in my life, I felt accepted and I felt like I belonged. You gave me that, Mukuro-sama. And at that time, I thought I loved you."

She looked up into his unflinching gaze, his expression unreadable. Hers was determined, earnest. The truth, nothing but the truth.

"I was wrong."

He blinked.

"I was not in love with you. I was obsessed with you. I couldn't get enough of you – day or night, I wanted to hear your voice speaking with me and see your hair blowing in that dream meadow and feel your hand patting my head. I was selfish and felt that if I could keep you to myself, I would."

She lowered her gaze to their shoes. Their very expensive leather shoes.

"But of course, I knew I never would – could have such power over one as great as Mukuro-sama. So I merely put you on a pedestal and worshiped you like a God. I thought that was love. I was a fool."

Her single took on a blank look as she recalled more memories.

"Then came the day Mukuro-sama and the others left me behind because I was no longer needed."

Mukuro still showed no outward reaction, merely fixing his gaze on her and hanging onto every word that tumbled past her lips.

"I was lost again, with nowhere to go. But it was worse than before I met Mukuro-sama. I thought I could never recover. I felt so sad, so hopeless, so…" she whispered the word, "betrayed."

Still no reaction. And she kept her eye focused on the Persian carpet.

"I cried a lot. I cried for weeks. Kyoko and Haru did what they could and Boss was always there for me. Everyone tried to cheer me up. But at night, I would cry until the sun came up again. Except in my mind, the sun never did come back up. You were the cause of that, Mukuro-sama. And at that time, I hated you."

Her voice was louder, stronger now. His hand finally twitched, almost as if involuntarily. She did not know what expression he wore on his face – her eyes were still cast downwards.

"I hated you for giving me something that meant the world to me, then ripping it away like you thought it was some cruel joke. Like you were playing around with me. Sometimes I really thought you were the devil, treating me as if I was your personal toy to poke and prod and laugh as I bleed and cry and hurt. I never hated someone that much before, not my parents, not my enemies, no one."

Then her shoulders slumped, her accusatory tone vanished and all the fight seemed to have left her.

"But then time passed and I realised. That I still wanted to see you." The tears were gathering in her eyes now. She fought the impulse to wipe them away – she needed to be sure that she would say what she had to say loud and clear, once and for all.

"Even after everything you had done to me, every tear I cried for you, I still wanted to hear your voice praising me for a job well done or feel your hand on head as you stroked my hair. While I still have those sentiments, your absence had also made me realise something."

She finally lifted her gaze and looked into his eyes once more. The look she found in them was one that almost startled her. He had never looked at her that way before. Hurt. There was hurt in his eyes. But there was also… hope? And something else she could not quite put her finger on. For a brief moment, she felt the urge to place her hands on face and comfort him.

Instead she continued, refusing to be put off-track. "That you weren't the only thing that mattered to me. I had Boss, Kyoko and Haru, my role as a Mist Guardian. Everyone in Vongola. They weren't just my famiglia. They were my family. They mattered to me too."

She kept her gaze unwavering. Strong. Unshakeable. Like the Guardian she had grown to be. "I said before that I would do anything for Mukuro-sama. I realise now that this is untrue." She gave him a steady stare, long and pointed. "If Mukuro-sama asks me to do anything that would harm the Vongola, I would not do it."

Another blink. Then Mukuro's red eye began to stir, ominous swirling depths looked back out at her as the tension in the room increased. "Even if I myself were to act against the Vongola Famiglia?"

Her defiant frown and summoning of Mist Flames about her body was answer enough for him. Silence prevailed once again, the two staring at each other in battle ready stances.

Once again, it was he who spoke first. "So what does this make your answer?"

The young woman's frown relaxed but not entirely. "My loyalties lie with Vongola now. But I… I…" a tear finally fell from under her eye patch. "I love you, Mukuro-sama. I do, I really, really –"

She was interrupted by a hug for the second time that day. But this one given by a different person. For a different reason. Mukuro held her tightly against his body, arms encircling her and face buried in the crook of her neck as if afraid of letting go. She thoughtlessly, instinctively returned it; bringing her own arms around his neck putting her now tear-streaked face against his chest. And as she cried freely – for an entirely different reason, she heard him murmur into her ear. "Nagi, Nagi, Nagi… My sweet, Nagi."

* * *

_The sun rises and rises_

_Purifying the place where I am_

_I want to sleep wrapped in your arms_

_That even wipe out my punishment_

* * *

**A/N: Oh God, I can't believe I actually finished this. I can't believe I'm posting this without proofreading it. I can't believe it's 12:30am and this has well intruded into my Mass Effect gaming time. I can't this actually ended up so long. I initially meant it to be like half as long. Urgh, why does everything I write end up being longer than I initially plan it to be?**_  
_

**I haven't proofread this so I'm probably going to wake tomorrow and kill myself when I find something stupid in it.**

**In case there is still some confusion as to the meaning behind the story, there is some significance to whether Mukuro addresses Chrome as 'Chrome' or 'Nagi'. I'm trying to portray that Mukuro loves Nagi, not Chrome. He loves the girl he first met, the one with a pure heart full of dreams and ideals. Not Chrome, the one who had become tainted because of him and was willing to throw aside all of that at just one word from him. In other words, he felt that if he was to love Nagi, he wanted it to be Nagi herself; his Nagi.**

**If... that made any sense. ARGH- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN MYSELF -crashed head into wall-**

**This was inspired by a from Tsukiko Amano called Koe. Some of the translated lyrics have been inserted into the fic (as you can see). I usually do not approve of this method, but given the theme I somehow felt it necessary to show which parts of the song inspired this fic. Unfortunately, I got lazy toward the end and everyone ended up out of character... ;A;**

**Oh well, I hope I'll do better next time.**

**- Kasumi.**


End file.
